Tuesday, June 11, 2013


READY~Lindsay McCaul
Broken, I come broken
Eyes closed, Heart wide open
I'm ready to get back to where we used to be
I lift up my face
Pleading for grace
and you are..

Ready, to answer every time I call
You are waiting to catch the pieces as they fall
You've seen every tear
You're standing by to draw me near
I am finally down on my knees
And you are ready

You never asked me for perfection
I'd never make it if I tried
But I kept searching for the chance to clear my blame
For my foolish pride
With you waiting all the while
And you are...(Chorus)

~I've pretty much had this song on repeat since I've been here.

I came on this trip with 2 words--{great anticipation}.

No expectations.

No real plan.

Just {ready} for whatever God had waiting for me.

Have you ever hit a dry season in your journey? A time where you had allowed yourself to become so drained that you had nothing left to give?? That's exactly where I found my thirsty heart prior to this trip. If I'm being honest--I was spent...I'd become lazy in my time with Christ...and I had allowed the cares of this life to weigh me down.

I relate to the words of this song so much...broken--I come broken, eyes closed heart WIDE OPEN. It has been great to get away from life as I know it...in times of solitude {here} there's no place to go--and I have been "forced" to deal with the state of my heart. I realized I had been ignoring the nudgings of The Lord to deal with issues in my heart that were not pleasing to Him. I've found grace and redemption in repentance. {I'm READY to get back to where we used to be} My time with The Lord has been so sweet. Sometimes I think I lose sight and feeling of what grace and forgiveness looks and feels like. It's a sweet spot to be in. God has been speaking so much to me on this journey and I realize that's no different than time in the states--its just that I've slowed down to actually listen. I like the part of the song that says--

You never asked me for perfection
I'd never make it if I tried
But I kept searching for the chance to clear my blame
For my foolish pride
With you waiting all the while

Those words sink deep--and I find myself in a state of repentance again--to think that I have the power to change myself...I admit I am a perfectionist...and God has been revealing to me that I have been trying to be a perfectionist at my walk with Him--that task is impossible. My load has felt so much lighter as I am learning that the mask of perfectionism has to come off...there is only ONE Who is Perfect--and it is ONLY IN HIM--that I am complete.

So--not to be self centered but so far this trip has been one of solitude...self reflection and repentance...and sweet fellowship with my Savior. Sweetly broken--wholly surrendered.

I'm ready for whatever He has next!


I love the people here---both Peruvians and North Americans.

My Peruvian friends feel like family--I know it's culture here and also how they are training the children---but I cannot get enough of the way they greet each other, including me. It seriously makes you feel like a million bucks. It has been convicting to me--do I let those that I love feel the same way {these precious people} make me feel MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY!?! It's something I want to remember and not go back to being the same--it's so simple how the way we greet each other can make {or break} someone of feeling valued. The simple daily greetings have filled my cup up!

I'm so grateful to have this opportunity to live here in their community, to be accepted as family, to see all the progress that God has allowed to go on here...it's seriously unbelievable to look back and to see how far God has brought this place and to see the redemption of lives that is taking place...incredible!

Meal times are probably my favorite time of the day--it's community. It's praying together, sharing a meal, hearing lots of laughter--it's great times of joy. Real JOY. {oh and real good food too!}

I find myself just observing the children through out the time I am with them--if it's true {which it is} that we are to come to the Father as a child--I've got a lot of learning to do. As I was watching them play--I was caught up and lost in the uninhibited downright craziness of fun they were having! No being serious--no wondering about insecurities or if they were being judged by others--just pure squeals of delight in enjoying one another and their time together. Not a care in the world--especially one of the lil guys who was running so fast on the playground equipment he completely forgot to see the drop off and ran right off it face first into the sand! Oops-a-daisy!!! Didn't even phase him, he just got up and laughed and then ran off again! It was priceless. Oh I want to learn to be like a child again--I challenge us all, next time you're in the presence of a child--take time to LEARN. Learn about yourself, learn about the Father and don't leave that time the same person you were when you entered it. I LOVE these kiddos and am learning so much from them!

There is a group of us North Americans here {7} who are diving into the Word together 3 times a week. {Jim and TKay, David M., Ayla, Tony and Katie Hernandez and myself.} God has also brought 2 other couples {Corey and Rachel / Woody and Sylvia} this past week and I am loving these opportunities to connect with new brothers and sisters in Christ and learn from them as well as growing together with life long friends. Our community time has been precious filled with worship and challenging studies. I am learning so much from these precious people. Lesson learned--let God use the people in your life to teach you more about HIM and His word. I'm getting a front row seat of believers that LIVE OUT His words...it's truly inspiring!


I came to serve. And I am loving it! Whether that looks like making a menu, a grocery list or a meal, or walking to the market to get fruits and vegetables to picking up a paint brush, or a broom or even a screw driver--my little taste of heaven on earth yesterday was getting up to fix all the little chicas hair for their city parade...I'm grateful that I get to help in whatever capacity that looks like. TKay has made me my own little list and it's been fun to get to be creative and help her out. Serving others definitely brings joy. I've learned that when you just say "whatever You want, Lord" He lets you do what you love. I mean come on now...I'm getting to love and serve through cooking {one of my favorite things in the world} and also through being creative {who God has made me to be} I'm overwhelmed by HIS GOODNESS.


I will close this post with encouragement I have received from Scripture--His word is ALIVE!

Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine. (Psalms 16:5 NLT)

But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears. You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness. God’s way is perfect. All the Lord ’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection. God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect. (Psalms 18:6, 28, 30, 32 NLT)

The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living. (Psalms 19:8 NLT)

How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults. Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don’t let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. (Psalms 19:12-14 NLT)

Show your strength, God, so no one can miss it. We are out singing the good news! (Psalm 21:13 MSG)

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. (Isaiah 30:15 NIV)

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.
—Psalm 62:5

That's exactly what Jesus did. He didn't make it easy for himself by avoiding people's troubles, but waded right in and helped out. "I took on the troubles of the troubled," is the way Scripture puts it. Even if it was written in Scripture long ago, you can be sure it's written for us. God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever he will do next. May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all. Then we'll be a choir—not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus! (Romans 15:3-6 MSG)


Sweetly broken--wholly surrendered {thank you Rachel Hunka for sharing that with me!}


Unknown said...

Thanks for sharing Amy! God just knows exactly what we need. You do have your glow back. I saw it in your pics and heard it in your blog.

I just wanted to share, when I was reading this Gage woke up and came out. He loves to be held in the mornings. Not a lot of words are said. I just sit and hold him and he holds me back. Its a very sweet time. I hope that every morning it is a time that kicks off his day knowing that I love him and I have to admit it is a time for me too to know that he loves me back.

Anyhow, I was thinking of your words from your blog and reflecting on my time (or lack of time) with my Savior. I realized I just need to take some time out of my busy life to stop and let Him hold me and me hold him back. It doesn't have to be lots of words or a deep Bible dig just some sweet time together....it is needful.

Hope this makes sense! Love you girl!! I look forward to hearing about all that God is doing and showing you!!

Rachel said...

Amy, after I read your post I read this post:


and thought I should send it along to you; it's such an encouragement.

Trusting God's Love and Grace to be fully known while you are in Peru.