This girl, she teaches me so much every day. There are days I feel so guilty for not opening the Word like I should, and then God gives me a lesson through her that is personal and priceless. Today was one of them.
These last couple of weeks have been a challenge, she's a super smart lil cookie and I am a worn out weary momma. And I know she knows it.
I've had more meltdowns then I care to admit. When asked "how are you?" my reply is the same, "I'm tired."
I'm super thankful for my village, so thankful. I cant do this journey alone, I never want to.
ok, back to the lesson of the day...I'd already decided she was taking a nap today, it is what would be best for the both of us. She flipped and flopped and called out my name a couple of times, even came out once acting like the naptime was up, it clearly wasn't! I felt the nudge to go lay down with her. I gave her 2 quick ultimatums, close your mouth and lay still.
It was almost as if I counted down 10 to 1 and she was out. As I heard her breathing slow down and I saw her little body lay still i heard that still small voice, "Just Rest, be still My child, quit trying to tell Me what to do, what you think you need, quit flipping and flopping all over the place like this small child and please, just rest."
All the tears.
I picture my Father climbing in to lay dowm next to me, holding me in His arms, safe. "Just close your mouth and lay still" He says to me. I release the anxiety, the frustration, the inadequecies, the fears, the control, the comparison, all the insecurities. All released.
I hear Him say again, "please, just rest."
So that is what I will focus on doing, Resting.
And when I forget what that looks like, I will look back to her sweet face, remembering the battle it took to get her to rest, and hopefully I will surrender my own struggle and find that same rest.
I know it is not a one and done thing to rest, I was interrupted writing this to walk through it again for bedtime. But isnt that how it goes, and the Father guides, corrects and graciously points us on the path to find that rest once more.
Just Rest.
