Monday, February 16, 2009

Lord, HELP!

Sunday Night as I was driving home...I found myself lost in prayer...literally. I had so much on my heart that I was trying to get out to God...trying to come up with just the right words so He would know my heart...so He could fix it all and make a way in every situation. I was becoming EXHAUSTED in my praying! I finally stopped and just blurted out...LORD, HELP! His peace instantly came over me...it was as if He was saying..."Finally...that's what I've been waiting for!" It hit me how I was trying to take over His Spirit's role in my life...He already knew all about my circumstances big and small...He already had it figured out...He has already made a way! Wow, how comforting! What I pictured in my mind is a small child trying and trying and trying to tie his own shoe...not getting it done...frustrated...and finally that child asks an adult to help him out...and the adult says..."that's what I've been waiting for!" My lesson I learned that night is that God desires to help me...sure He will let me struggle and try to figure it out on my own...but there is a peace and freedom that comes with SURRENDER! I don't have it all figured out...but I do know that in that moment...My God, MY FATHER bent His ear to listen to me, His child cry out for help...and He did!

Jamaica...



k, so I'm not really sure that many read this, but to those of you who do...I have alot to unload! It has been too long since I have poured my heart out...and there is plenty to pour. My cup has run over and is spilling all over the floor...and continues to grow.





So, My trip to Jamaica was another fulfilling week! Rewarding is the best word I have right now to describe it. It was rewarding to be a part of something bigger than self. To see God's activity in the lives of others and in my own life was huge. To be able to go and serve with a group of Brothers and Sisters in Christ and to see His Spirit moving in their lives was huge! God is so good!





There is way too much to put on here about the whole trip...if you haven't already, you should really check out our blog from the beginning... http://www.teamjamaica09.blogspot.com/ all the stories are there...and there are many more.





How I saw God in my life...my MOST MEMORABLE moment was the day we went to the infirmary, Wednesday. A home for all ages of people with disabilities...and let's just say, it is not anything that one can really describe, it's just something you must see for yourself. I saw and felt God there that day...He is real to me...but I especially felt His presence that day.





Not many may understand what I am about to say...but this is the best I can describe that day...As a single person you long for that companionship in your life, you long for someone to "get you"...to hold you when you need to be held, to hug you and never let go...to hold your hand as if there is no one elses hand to hold...and as one waits for God to bring that person into his/her life...the waiting gets harder and harder especially in a world of instant gratification...as a single person who has chosen to let God pick my man...it gets hard to wait and I desire to have that person...well, that day at the infirmary...God was that for me. He showed me so much about how He longs to fill EVERY desire I have, big or little...He wants me to turn to Him to fill those voids, and that day, He did!





My friend Garfield, the one in the picture with me, got so excited when he saw me. He was a man that I had met last year when I went and I loved just sitting on the sidewalk with him, reading Scripture and just sitting in Jesus' presence with him. This friend cannot talk at all, but let me tell ya, he can smile like no other...he loves Scripture...and somehow, he remembered me, that or he was just really excited that we were all there. I found him in the same place I had left him last year. And he got so excited. He nearly pulls you to the ground and then he took that one arm and just wrapped it around me, almost in a headlock...and there was no letting go! I felt God hugging me through him...pulling me close, saying..."stay here by My side, I will never let you go...you belong to Me!" WOW! I sat there with Garfield for a while...then made my way out of his headlock grip to the back of the infirmary where I found another man laying in his bed, all alone, weak, wasn't even sitting up, no pillow, no sheets just him on the mattress and so I sat down next to him. He immediately grabbed my hand and he would not let it go, he held my hand with both of his and just kept rubbing my fingers with his...again, God's presence...there, holding my hand through this dear man...I was overwhelmed. I began crying and kept repeating the words "You're all I want, You're all I've ever needed....help me know You are near." God showed me that day that He will give me the desires of my heart with an earthly husband, but He wants to be first in what I need...He wants to give it to me first...so that I know that I can be satisfied with Him alone and that I won't place expectations on any man to fill my heart in the way that only God can. It was an incredible experience!



I learned so much on this journey and as God continues to bring things to my mind, I will continue to post...the processing takes a while.
Above all...I got a front row seat of watching God's activity in 28 peoples lives...how cool is that!









Sunday, February 15, 2009

...Because of his grace, he declared us righteous...

Titus 3:4-8
But- "When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying, and I want you to insist on these teachings so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good. These teachings are good and beneficial for everyone.
I have been DECLARED righteous! Wow, that is an amazing thought. I have been saved by His mercy and grace and I have been washed clean...my sins are gone! I have been given the Spirit of God so I can walk through this life and know the way I am supposed to go...I have confidence that I have inherited eternal life... I can trust Him! This morning my reading has struck me how simple this Christian walk is. I have been taught these things all my life...I could recite them back to someone at a very young age...it's so simple. And to think that God has declared me righteous...that is amazing....and empowering. Today I choose to walk in that I am forgiven, I am declared righteous...and I know where I am going...and I know Who is waiting there for me...and I TRUST HIM!