trust

...so, I learned a very valuable lesson on trust this week. Tuesday was a pretty overwhelming day...it started off really good but started going downhill on my way to work when I realized that my phone was shut off cause I didn't pay the bill...basically because I didn't have the money...business has been slow...money tight...I have been trusting God day to day. Don't get me wrong, I love it...it's not fun...but it is in these times that I feel closest to God depending on Him for EVERYTHING! It was a minute by minute battle..."yes, God, I trust You...BUT...what about this bill...what about that?....then the rollercoaster...Yes, I trust You...BUT...over and over in my mind as I am trying to work on my customer's hair. I was getting exhausted just trying to keep up with my own thoughts, let alone the conversations I was trying to have with customers, pretending like I was ok when inside I was about to burst into tears! Then, a lady stopped me, she is one of the other girls customers...I had said hi to her earlier but didn't really engage in a conversation with her. She told me she wanted to give me some money for my trip to Jamaica. {Now, mind you...one of the things I had been thinking about was how I had to use my $120 that I had saved for my work rent while gone on my trip...I had to use it to pay last weeks rent at work...and through that God had shown me that it was still provision, whether for the time to come when I would be off...or now...it was His provision and i needed to adjust my focus to that!} So, this lady pulled a $20 bill out of her wallet and handed it to me and I just burst into tears with my customer sitting in my chair...I was overwhelmed. God was standing right there saying to me...."Are you going to trust me? I WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU EVEN IF IT IS $20 AT A TIME! WILL YOU JUST TRUST ME!?" Yes, LORD I will trust YOU! I think of Proverbs 3:5-6 I am commanded to trust in Him with ALL my heart and not lean on my understanding....I know that He can be trusted and I know that He will provide ALL MY NEED! His way, not mine!